Response from Judy:
Hello Eliza, thank you for leaving your review.
I've left a few brief replies to the recommendations you've included.
But first, I like that you mentioned the importance of communication in your review, and I totally agree that it is simply essential. I do value authentic, direct, and kind communication.
That being said, I will say this also: while in my home, I had the rather unfortunate experience of overhearing you, with the other female guest that was present, discussing me in my dining area in what I'll simply call a less than kind and pleasant manner---on multiple occasions. Though I will not take time to delve into the contents of your discussions, I will say the following:
If ever you feel something needs to be addressed when living with others---please, do consider directly addressing the appropriate party of whatever you feel the matter may be. Engaging in deconstructively critical "side" discussions about someone--in their own home, no less--creates unnecessary tension, and is simply impolite.
I noticed the ever subtle-yet-pronounced shift in demeanor (ignoring my greetings, etc.), yet despite such, I strived to at least try and show some kindness to you, which was challenging at times because I felt I was being somewhat ousted in my own home.
Subversive behavior is not an effective or rational response to true concern. True concerns should find expression through direct, mindful, and honest communication. Though it is now water under the bridge, I do hope a lesson will be learned to ensure more enriching future experiences.
1. Per the little sticky note I left in the bathroom that politely requested that guests please not waste tissue, it was indeed meant as a pleasant request (the smiley I face drew inclusive) and not as a passive-aggressive gesture. I apologize if it seemed as if the request was meant to elicit any offense. I assure you that it was not.
2. In your second point you've mentioned having a place where the rules are documented. The main house rules are clearly defined on the Airbnb listing page. For those house rules that are more practical (e.g. replacing a chair after exiting a dining room table, cleaning up after oneself, etc.) I usually don't feel the need to formally document these for guests, as I feel they are natural rules, and a simple, respectful reminder (if one is ever needed) suffices just fine for most.
3. Oh my. I absolutely never stated or insinuated that you would need to ask before using my dinnerware each time (how onerous that would be!). I expressed clear permission for you to use my dishes---in addition to the guest set---if you desired. I do wish you would have checked your assumption by simply communicating your concern to me instead of going through the hassle of buying your own. I did indeed mention that you should leave them in the sink whenever they're used (which I would think wouldn't be difficult) because it is truly my personal preference to wash my own plates. In future, please simply ask if you have a concern, as this matter could have been cleared in as simple as an instance and a word.
~ Farewell, Judy